In a
study of 4000 British adults, one in five admitted to regularly making excuses
for not having sex. In a world that’s becoming increasingly chaotic, it’s
unsurprising to hear that the most exciting thing that happens between the
sheets nowadays is simply sleeping. Here are the top five excuses we use for
not having sex:
Sex excuse 1: “I’m too tired”
“Please
babe, I’ve been at work all day and I’m tired” – oh, that old chestnut. A
recent study has revealed that the “I’m too tired” scenario has become the top
excuse to avoid having sex, with “I have a headache” stepping down from first
place to third on the list. As many of us seem to be working longer hours than
ever before, it’s no surprise that when we reach our bedroom it’s often less of
the passionate kissing and sexy underwear, and more about the unattractive
pyjamas and comfortable slippers. Sometimes we even use “I’m too tired” as an
excuse before we’ve even thought about whether we’re tired or not. In actual
fact, sex floods the brain with relaxing chemicals such as oxytocin, which
calms down our brains and compliments our sleep. Suddenly sex is back on the
menu...
Sex excuse 2: “I’m on my period”
This is
obviously an excuse that the gentleman among us can’t pull out of the bag when
they’re just not feeling up to it. For the ladies, it’s a favourite excuse that
works every time. When they drop it into a conversation casually, it’s an
indirect way of saying “I’m not up for it. It’s just not happening so before we
take this evening any further, please remember that the most you’re getting at
the end of the night is a snuggle”. They know that the age-old ‘time of
the month’ excuse makes men squirm a little bit before simply being quiet and
not asking any more questions on the subject, making this the perfect excuse if
they’re looking for a quick get-out that requires little effort or
explanation. You can’t mess with nature, gentlemen.
Sex excuse 3: “I’m angry with you”
Some
sneaky devils try and avoid sex by dragging out an argument for longer than it
needed to last or purposely causing one. We’ve all heard of the scenario;
you’re having a fantastic evening watching films, gorging on a candle-lit
romantic meal, and laughing at each other’s jokes when suddenly the bedroom
part comes and boom – you just remembered your argument from the other night.
Suddenly the candles are blown out, the oversized comfy pyjamas have made their
grand entrance and you’re lying on the bed facing opposite directions. No sex
tonight. *Celebratory gasp of relief*
Sex excuse 4: “I’ve got a headache”
People
all over the world seem to get a headache when it’s leading up to the big
moment. We can’t think why. In fact, the fake headache excuse has been put to
use so much that it made it to third place in a recent survey of top excuses
for not having sex. If it’s a real headache and not a euphemism for “I don’t
feel like doing it today, sweetheart” studies suggest that sex can actually
help. Indeed, scientists believe that the chemicals released in your brain
during sex make getting down and dirty 10 times more effective than Valium.
It’s the pleasure aspect that provides pain relief though; if you just lie down
passively and make your partner do all the work, it isn’t going to happen. If
you’re the one playing the “I have a headache” card, make sure your partner
doesn’t know this handy piece of knowledge. If they do, it might be worth
picking another excuse off this list, just to be safe. If you’re partner’s
using this excuse, they’ve just been busted.
Sex excuse 5: “I don’t have time”
We can
feel your pain with this one. As we’re working longer hours, there seems to be
less time for sex and more time for hard work. If you’re genuinely struggling
for time, throw spontaneity out of the window and schedule sex in. It sounds
unsexy, but there’s nothing wrong with planning a session of romance if it’s
completely stopped happening on its own. If you’re one of those people who has
plenty of time to plant flowers, paint the bathroom and make artwork out of
melted wax crayons but suddenly have no time when it comes to sexy time, it
might be best to think of a better excuse. They say that women can multi-task
but ironing and doing the deed at the same time could be painful...
-source: realbuzz.com
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